The 1970’s social psychologist Eric Fromm posited that our first relationship is with the world – it is at the point of entry that success or struggle is decided.

Other experts tell us that self-love is often referenced by who loves us and what we love or don't love about another. These are conditions – is love mostly about conditions and attributes then? If that is true, I can't help but feel we are cutting love short. Isn't there more to this powerful emotion? Isn’t love  “all we need”, in the words of John Lennon?

Recently, I was speaking to a dear friend, discussing how I saw him and what I thought he might do as an occupation. I was explaining what I thought were his talents and strengths. I saw many he had never considered or perhaps was too afraid think possible. I mentioned that others see us so clearly, much clearer than we can hope to see ourselves. His reply struck me. He said "But it matters how people see you". That sent my mind going.

I thought of times that a true love had looked at me and saw deep beauty. With that one look I felt more beautiful than Aphrodite & Laksmi combined. Then I remembered how ugly I felt in the eyes of another. I thought of the times teachers and mentors believed in me and their confidence became my own.

I wondered why we spend time reflecting anything other than what is beautiful in a person? What in us makes us say things that hurt or make it harder for the people we reflect to be other than radiant? Why are we so afraid to tell another that we love them or that they are wonderful, even if they might not say it in return?

With all these questions reeling in my head I turned to the law of karma for some guidance. Karma tells us that when we speak the words of love we hear them first. On an energetic level we reap the benefits of these words, perhaps stronger than the person they were meant for. It tells us the opposite is true as well. 

Stop for a second and drop into your heart after you have said something hurtful. If you’re honest, you would have to confess that it feels like a kick to the stomach. You are feeling the energy of negative karma. If this is true then why not use every word to lift and honor a person. What we see in them is really what we see in ourselves. I don't know if it is true, but I don't want to be bound by the success or struggle of my "point of entry". When we choose the beauty we are consciously making our karma here and now. That makes our words — and more importantly, our love — powerful beyond our knowing! 

It is the childlike mind that finds the kingdom. - Charles Fillmore

Last week my cousin gave birth to a daughter.  While we all knew that she was pregnant and was scheduled to give birth at anytime, receiving the news made me giddy with excitement.  I am so excited to meet this new little person, and I am so excited to see her grow along the way.  Each time I see a baby, I wonder about what it's like to have all these new experiences.  Babies and young children just take it all in.  Every single moment is new and even the littlest of things can be fascinating to kids.

Often when I start getting really pessimistic, I notice it is because I have banished my childlike mind.  I have gotten so wrapped up in routine and clinging to certain patterns that I forget to lighten up.  I forget to embrace that childlike mind and allow each moment to be brand new.  

Here is the task for February – to stay brand new, fresh, open and excited…even about things that don't seem exciting, and even when things seem  to be not going the way you wished for.  Stay open.  Even if things have gone a certain way for most of your life and you have been disappointed by certain outcomes in the past, let go.  Let go of how you think it is going to be, and just surrender to how it is.  It's much easier to write it than practice it, but it's worth a try.

Remember to read the horoscope for your Sun sign and your Rising sign!

Aquarius: Starting off February with the Sun, Mercury and Neptune in your house of self.  Neptune is finishing its tour of your 1st house and will move into your 2nd house of self worth.  Over the last couple of years, you may have felt as though you have become more sensitive or connected to the metaphysical.  Now it is time to integrate all you have learned.  Trust your instincts and intuition and share with others!

Pisces: Planet Neptune is shifting into your sign.  The good news is that Neptune is the natural ruler of your sign, so it will be back in its home position.  However since it has not been there for a long time, you may have some adjusting to do.  You may feel less grounded than usual.  Use the power of Neptune to guide you and let your imagination loose, you may surprise yourself with what comes out of your imagination.

Aries: On February 8th, Venus moves into the sign of Aries and into your first house of self.  This creates a lot of magnetism around you and your personality.  This is a good time to ask for what you want, as you may very well likely receive it.  Focus on receiving more and allowing others to share with you.  Mars is retrograding through your 6th house, allow for lots of rest.

Taurus: With Neptune entering your 11th house, there is a likelihood that you may feel attracted to a new group of friends.  It is important that you set healthy boundaries between you and others as you will be pulled towards different social outings and opportunities.  It is likely that you may find yourself hanging with a more eclectic and spiritual group.  Emerge yourself.  

Gemini: With Mars moving retrograde, plans you had to change your living situation may seem to not be moving with ease.  Be patient and go with the flow, something unexpectedly awesome may present itself instead.  In the middle of the month, get out and meet new people. Go to events that you usually don't go to, and exchange numbers with new people!

Cancer:  This is a great month to get your taxes done.  Don't wait till the last minute!  Also with the Sun in your 8th house, this is a time of natural transformation.  The old must die to give way to the new.  Let the transformation occur, stop hiding from it and accept it.  

Leo: Relationships are at the center of your world in the beginning of the month.  Issues with a sibling or father may be lighting up your world.  Use this time to practice conscious dialogue and nonviolent communication techniques.  If you can practice them in the most difficult of times, then you will master it!

Virgo: Mars is retrograding through your first house.  This may seem annoying since it may seem like you have a drop in energy or like it is taking a lot to get things going.  Use this time to renew and reflect on your values.  Take some time this month to journal – who are you?  what Divine purpose do you have here on earth?  Get reacquainted with your Highest self.

Libra: February starts off with your 5th house of self expression lit up.  There is a story you are yearning to tell!  Tell it – write it, sing it, draw it! Express it!  Let the energy of the beginning of the month help you flush out your story and feel motivated about sharing it.  You have the spotlight, so use it!

Scorpio: The beginning of the month is about your home.  This month calls for you to pay attention and care to your home; both the house you live in and your physical body.  Give extra self care, and treat yourself to some spa time.  As February ends, life will be moving quickly and calling or lots of your energy.  So use the beginning of the month to fill up your tank.

Sagittarius: There may be some focus on siblings this month.  As you move through the month, try to be compassionate for those in need and practice mindful support.  Later in February, you may want to give some attention to the idea of a new home.  This is a good time to start envisioning and creating loose plans around the kind of house and home situation you desire.  

Capricorn:   The beginning of the month will have some focus on income.  This month may present new ways to gather income perhaps by humanitarian efforts or with your communication skills.  Think outside the box, and don't be afraid to share those thoughts.  You might just be rewarded for being unique.  

As I read the philosophy of the esteemed teacher, Mr. Glenn Black, whose classes I have had the privilege of taking, I am confused and I must say disheartened. I too have been walking the path of Yoga for over 25 years. I, luckily, have had a much different experience. I have been fortunate to have very wise and skilled teachers, starting my practice at Integral Yoga with Swami Ramanda, then Amy Mathews, Richard Freeman and onto my greatest teacher Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen. I believe these teachers helped me to see the true form of Yoga and though, I will admit, I have found myself in the presence of teachers who taught a more western version of the practice, my body has always asked me to leave and I quickly found my way back home. For me, and I hope for my students, Yoga is lens we use to look deeply inside to see what we really need - whether those needs are physical, emotional or spiritual. I have walked along my life path with Yoga by my side. It has been my greatest companion and so, it has held me, educated me, challenged me, employed me, it has been where I have found my closest friends and has been my guide through the most difficult times in my life.

On a nuts and bolts level Yoga is about re-patterning and that occurs in the nervous system. Whether we are discussing muscle tissue or emotions. It is wise in that way. We as humans are not so wise. We push, pull and grasp just as it asks us not to do and then we blame Yoga. It has been my experience that in those moments we aren’t really doing Yoga but just using the asanas to live our lives they way we always have, in arrogance. Yoga is a way to see things differently, to find peace of mind and true grace. It asks us clearly to stop pretending and start accepting what is, to listen instead o demand. This could be getting real about our flexibility in our bodies or in our lives. What is the real truth of the matter and can we stop pretending that it is something different. These of course are the harder lessons that only a true friend can offer.

Bonnie my teacher has always explained to us that we must listen to the lessons the body is teaching. So, it is the deepest meditation where I am asked to stay present and keep my ego in check. I must wait patiently for an asana to blossom inside of me. When I do I am in true ecstasy and when I don’t…well Mr. Black has already covered that. The asanas unfold, they present themselves to us, and we find we are in them without ever knowing we were going there, very much like life. If an injury comes, and I won’t lie I have had mine, it has shown me my own arrogance not a flaw in the teachings but in my ability to listen to their wisdom. Each asana holds a lesson so we move slowly and with reverence through our practice, as it is truly sacred.

As a teacher I am in service. I have come to own my own studio and so I am in service of many. I must maintain my clear mind so I can see the movements in each of my students. This comes with time and skill. So I have had to get that much more honest about what I am doing. Teaching has required me to rise to a higher form of myself. It has demanded a deep understanding of myself so that I can serve others. Oddly, teaching is typically less about knowledge, though incredibly important, and more about presence. If the room is crowded we don’t move faster but deeper more slowly, we use the power of the group to hold the meditation we are all there to find…teacher included. It is the job of the teacher to empower the student to listen to their body and not to become dependent. Though this can feel good, as we all want to feel important and needed, it is an extreme disservice to our students. If they alone trust us how do they learn to walk alone to find the self-practice we are grooming them for?

I have worked privately most of my 25 years, typically with people who suffer from some type of physical malady. I have seen this sage practice heal so many and not only heal but deliver them to a place where they were better then where they were before they were injured. I have been with most of my clients for 7 plus years. So we can see Yoga is not a fad nor is it a religion. What it is-is an awakening. It demands that we stay conscious at all times and so it is a very challenging and perhaps not right for those who want to dabble. It is clearly not whether I can do a fancy arm balance..that is an insult to its wisdom, but instead whether we can listen deeply to ourselves and others. In the light of Yoga we find, as we get older we get better. We are more alive, more compassionate, more humble. We realize we  will never know anything and so we get to maintain our curosity about everything.

I will agree that yoga as a competition or for athletic advancement is a bastardization of this wise and golden practice. Yoga has never been that for me, or for my students. We have taken a far less popular road to a place to where we are sure we will never arrive… But we are so enjoying the journey.. Freedom!

Click Here for the NY Times Article about Glenn Black

And explore other opinions on the topic: 

Yoga Journal's Blog

Daily Beast with perspective from Pure Yoga teacher

When it comes to deciding whether we are happy or not where do we look to find the answer? What is the deciding factor on how happy we are.

Is it a matter of success or material things, love or not. No one can deny that real-life circumstances have a tremendous impact on our emotions. This may lead us to wonder why we feel so helpless. Our inner thoughts might run like this: “What’s wrong with me?” “Why do I let people affect me so?”, “If only (you fill in the blank) happens, then I will be okay”, “Why do I feel enslaved by my thoughts?”, or “Why can’t I just be happy? And what would it even look like if I was?”.

In all of these instances we are looking outward to heal what lies within. These were questions I often asked myself before I found the practice of meditation. Satisfied in our own lives by changing our attitude towards reality … not the reality itself.

Through my practice I learned to sit with my thoughts and myself. I found a way to allow the triggers to rise up and learned to employ a different response to them. I found the power of pause. In certain meditations I was able to give my life a clear direction and then when I got off my pillow, it was easier to step in that direction. It felt good to decide how I wanted my life to be, rather than being taken for a ride by the waves of my “life situation”. It felt good to be in charge of my own emotional world.

In January, Reflections will be holding an Winter Urban Silent Retreat , where we will introduce and develop the practice of mindfulness. Along with restorative and yoga classes, there will be sitting meditation and intention setting. There will be time to write and just be in the energy of our Kula (group). Join us for this powerful weekend where we are all gathering to bring 2012 in as a year that is set in deep clarity and highest of intentions.

This weekend is suitable for beginners

Does Paula’s story resonate with you? Do you think you might enjoy exploring the ways we move through life and how yoga and meditation can give us a new perspective on them? Take two days with Paula and Friends at our Winter Urban Silent Retreat, Jan 14 & 15 2012.

What if your un-loveable you was the part we liked the best?

I recently spent some quality time with a close friend. We cried, laughed and totally let our hair down. We got to know each other in a way that we hadn’t before. One night over a bottle of wine my friend told me that the part of me he liked the best was not my “with it” accomplished NYC yoga guru side, but the part of me that sometimes seemed frightened, unsure and vulnerable. One of the things he said went like this: “Spending time with you let me see you're not so slick. I like that so much more”.

Does Paula’s story resonate with you?  Are you ready to uncover your own personal path? Consider joining Paula in her 2 Hour TeleSeminar, Stepping Up To Life,  on January 12th, 2012 from 6:30-8:30pm 

"If you want to be sad, no one in the world can make you happy.  But if you make up your mind to be happy, no one and nothing on earth can take that happiness from you."

- Parahamsa Yogananda

We are approaching the last days of 2011, and what a year this has been for us both individually and collectively.  One thing I think that we can all agree on from this year is that change is inevitable.  Nothing material lasts forever, yet there is a part of us that is eternal.  The popular yoga mantra, "Om Namah Shivaya", meaning "I bow to Shiva, the deity of change and destruction", reminds us that not only is change inevitable but it is is necessary.  As we bow to change, we bow to the Unknown.

Sagittarius:  Tis the season of Sagittarius, and while you do have the Sun in your house of self lighting up potential and movement to come into your highest self, you also have Mercury retrograding through this house till 12/13.  So you may be experiencing some roadblocks in getting motivated.  Use this time for self care; sleeping late, reiki treatments, juicing, and moving slowly.  Be gentle with yourself.  One Mercury turns direct, things will be moving fast, so take delight in these moments now.
Capricorn: The beginning of the month may feel slow and you may even find your dreams being very bizarre or lucid.  You have Venus lighting up your first house so you may be feeling a bit romantic or just appreciative of beauty.  This is not often a luxury that you give yourself hard-working Capricorn!  Give in to the beauty and romance, have fun!
Aquarius: This month you are also bound to be experiencing Mercury Retrograde in your house of social affairs and friendships, which for you as an Aquarius is everything!  You may notice getting together with people is more difficult than usual, or that just being social is feeling challenging.  Use December as a month to reflect, be quiet, and pay attention to your dreams!
Pisces: With Uranus turning direct in your house of income on 12/10, you may receive some surprise checks or offers to make money this month.  The past few months, you may have felt a big foggy on what it is that would make your happy income wise.  Now you may be feeling clear once again.  Use this clarity to take risks.
Aries: With Uranus moving direct in your house of self on 12/10, you are about to get an extra jolt of cosmic energy toward any work that is aligned with your highest potential.  With Uranus moving directly, you cease to care what others think and you are ready to express yourself authentically, and that makes you UN-stoppable.
Taurus: Pay attention to your daydreams and all coincidences.  Nothing is a coincidence, everything is a message to you.  Receive the messages!  You have Jupiter still in your 1st house, and now with Mars in your house of romance and play, this could be a very serendipitous time to meet a lover!  Enjoy!
Gemini: This month may start off feeling a bit challenging in your partnerships and relationships.  You might be feeling misunderstood or like no one is hearing you, probably a sign of Mercury Retrograde.  Once Mercury turns direct on 12/13, you will enjoy clarity in your communications in partnerships and relationships, and you may even turn some of your most challenging relationships into your most pleasurable ones!
Cancer: The beginning of the month is a great time to focus on your health.  Perhaps a new commitment has your working late or early.  Make sure that you are getting enough fresh water, sleep and nutrition through food daily.  Once the Sun moves into Capricorn on 12/21, your focus may shift in trying to make a romance work into a relationship.  Remember it takes 2 to tango!
Leo: With Mars in your house of income and self worth, it seems like you might be starting to REALLY take your dreams seriously!  The first step in making more money is WANTING to make more money, and this month you are ready to put your dreams into action to make money.  Pitch your stories or ideas, or perhaps re-visit projects from the past.  Say yes to yourself, and no one will be able to say no.
Virgo:  This month we have Mars in your first house.  Mars is the warrior and passion planet, and when in your first house, gives you the energy to assert yourself and get things done.  Mars will be in your first house over the next few month so perhaps think of some things that you have been wanting to get done, and chart out some action steps, Mars will help you.  Also expect lots of passion!
Libra: When Uranus turns direct in your house of relationships, it may be time to shake off some of the attachment you have had to conventionalism, and embrace the non-conventional ways.  Perhaps you have met someone you thought you would have never fallen for, or someone who doesn't make "any" sense for you.  Life is not about convention, it is about what is.
Scorpio: With Mercury retrograding through your house of self income and worth , you may notice that "old" patterns of dysfunction in regards to self esteem are coming up.  You may be questioning your value and your self worth.  You deserve everything that you desire and you are not forgotten.  Remember that once Mercury moves directly on 12/13, this will bring light into this area and help you to shed any dysfunction.

Kali Shirley Johnson, native New Yorker and Los Angeles-based, is a student of metaphysics. She has been studying astrology since the tender age of 5 years old and is thankful to share her love for the celestial bodies. She is available for Astrology Counseling, Reiki Healing, and Yoga.  For more info or to join her mailing list, please go to www.soulisticwellness.com 

"I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers." - Khalil Gibran

October belongs mostly to Libra.  This October begins with the Sun, Mercury, Venus and Saturn all in Libra.  Libra is the sign that rules relationships.  Relationships are the core of our life and experiences.  It is through others that we learn, grow, and that life becomes what it is.  Each time we interact, we are in a relationship, whether with colleague, sibling, parent, child, lover, spouse, customer, and so on.  In fact it is often through the interactions with others that we begin to define ourselves, and through those definitions tend to draw conclusions about who we are. 

On a large scale right now, a lot of what is going on in the world is about re-evaluating relationships and the systems that they have created that are no longer serving humanity.  All around the globe including American cities, folks are rebelling against the relationships to each other which we have gone along with for quite some time that no longer are suiting us. Humanity is coming together for justice.  Libra is represented as the scales, the scales also are used to depict justice.  Libra's desire is to balance and make things just not only in our personal lives but also in the world.  

Where are you seeking harmony and justice in your life? What relationships are no longer working for you?

Libra:  This is your time of the year as you come into your Solar Return.  Many Libras tend to go through a period in life where they are more focused on pleasing others rather than serving their highest self.  Start your personal new year off bringing the energy inward.  What do YOU want for this year?  What do YOU desire?  Listen to your heart.
Scorpio: Great time to take initiative at work.  If  you are feeling gutsy, act on it!  No need to keep following the crowd, take a stand and stand out!  Forgive others and forgive yourself, harnessing resentment over the past keeps you hostage to your mind.
Sagittarius: This is a good month to reflect on what friendship means to you and to both notice who your friends are and who you are being a friend to.  There may be a need or tendency to be spending more time with friends.  Remember that your friends are the ones who will accept you no matter what.
Capricorn: You may be feeling quite passionate lately.  Perhaps you have a lot of energy, or are feeling very inspired sexually.  Use this energy to propel you in your career.  Or use this energy at home to deepen your domestic partnerships. 
Aquarius: You may find yourself getting into some arguments this month.  Remember that it is okay to agree to disagree.  And remember that by being stubborn about ideas, you close  yourself up to new ideas…open up! 
Pisces:  Your mind is a powerful tool within your body.  You are getting the opportunity to take a look at the areas that have seemed "dark" for so long and explore them safely with support and compassion.  Do not be afraid.
Aries: Lots of creative energy and passion this month, do not shy away away from your power dear Aries.  You are a fire sign for a reason.  It is time to rise up, tap into your courage and move away from any victim roles you have been attaching to.
Taurus: If you have been thinking about ways to revive your health, think no more, just act!  It may be time to balance some health habits that may be disturbing your natural harmony; maybe too much tv, too much food, too much sitting around.  Time to balance it out.
Gemini: This is a great time for your to link up with a business partner for a creative venture.  You will have a good time building with someone and merging together both of your ideas and expression into an exciting creation.
Cancer: Take risks with your income.  Working only for a paycheck is not going to cut it for you right now.  Try to immerse yourself in communities where you feel you are being valued and can explore life outside the box!
Leo: You may enjoy some extra pep in your step this month Leo, making you as charming as ever.  What do you want to use this extra pep and charm for?  If you want to help people, start doing it now!
Virgo: Balance your finances and create a new budget.  Prioritize the activities and services that help you to recharge and create harmony in your life.  Perhaps set aside money for an art class, membership to a museum, or a hike.  

*Save the Date: By-Donation New Moon Call!  Learn about the Moon Cycles and Set intention for the New Moon with other Moon Lovers on Wednesday 10/26/2011 at 10pm EST/7pm PT.  This month's New Moon is in the sign of Scorpio. Scorpio is the sign of transformation, generation, and sex! To register please email info@soulisticwellness.com *

Kali Shirley Johnson, native New Yorker and Los Angeles-based, is a student of metaphysics. She has been studying astrology since the tender age of 5 years old and is thankful to share her love for the celestial bodies. She is available for Astrology Counseling, Reiki Healing, and Yoga.  For more info or to join her mailing list, please go to www.soulisticwellness.com